Financially Toxic Family Relationships (Community Discussion)

I bet almost all of us have dealt with a relationship that is categorized as financially toxic and not necessarily an abusive type. Basically, it means that although we experience an unhealthy relationship with money, sometimes it is hard to tell whether the behavior of family members is exempted from the subject. That is because there are just those couples of moments where our loved ones become entirely unreasonable because of money. Thus, it is imperative to recognize the signs early on before the situation gets more complicated.


Basic Stats Of Financial Abuse In The Family

Domestic Violence

Research shows that 98% of domestic abuse cases are all about financial abuse. It involves the aspect of control over financial matters because people believe that money is about having power. Apparently, it is the type of abuse that is least likely to get recognized. Thus, it becomes a reason for some people to feel entitled, especially when they are the ones who are financially in-charge. That explains why when we encounter abused individuals and ask them why they often do not intend to leave the relationship, we become appalled by their reason. The considerable part of that physical, emotional, or even mental torture is that they do not often have the financial resources to get out of the toxic situation.

Immature Financial Independence

For some members of the family, the financial burden is sometimes ignored. There are those individuals in the family who believe that money is not nor never an issue. With that, they often come to the resolution of leaving their homes only to settle life alone. However, living life independently can cost a lot of an unusual amount of bills and expenditures. There is the rent on the apartment, daily food budget, utility bills, and allowance. Though at some point, it is significant that some members of the family should consider independence. However, unprepared and immature decisions can lead to financial strain. Because regardless of trying to settle down alone or choosing to stay with the family, one needs to have financial stability.


Financial Dependency

One of the main reasons why families often separate ways or sticks together is because of financial dependency. When someone in the household is capable of bringing a lot of money on the table, two things can happen. One, everyone in the unit is expected to contribute to labor responsibilities in exchange for financial support. Two, members of the family will put monetary pressure on the one who is providing maintenance for all. The second one is more likely to occur when no one in the family is willing to help the breadwinner. However, the first one is not an excuse, as well. That is because there is a tendency for family members to find it convenient not to contribute financially. After all, they feel their labor responsibilities somehow cover all their needs for expenses.

Financially Selfish Family Members

The most common type of financially toxic family relationship is this one. It is where family members put specific boundaries on financial contributions. Basically, there are types of financially selfish family traits. One is where members of the family do not contribute anything at all, regardless of their financial capabilities. These individuals secure themselves by depending on the breadwinner financially despite having a source of income. The other type is for those individuals who contribute a little in exchange for a profit. These family members often want reimbursements and return of monetary interests. Lastly, there are those family members who control everyone’s financial statements.


Over-Monitoring On Expenditures

Not all problems come from the people surrounding the breadwinner. Sometimes, there are instances that behavioral financial issues come from the ones who financially support the family. These are individuals that make everyone feel guilty for spending money regardless of the amount and necessity. Usually, these people think that because they are producing monetary needs, the requirement for asking for permission is a must every time family members need something. These people are inclined to the monetary power system. Though there are some cases that it can be useful in any family relationship due to the idea of checks and balances on expenditures. Most of the time, breadwinners use it to control everyone in the household.


Obviously, there will be a time in a relationship where you and your family will experience a financial burden. Remember, financial abuse can be a standalone issue, or it can be part of a more significant cycle of abuse. But an essential aspect to keep in mind is that when you notice some signs, you need to act immediately. Whether you are the breadwinner or the one who is getting financial support, you need to understand the possibility of family relationship damage caused by financial strain. If possible, at least try to earn your own money and contribute to the family’s total financial needs.

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